Introverts Can Network Too, Just Differently

There is a section in Susan Cain’s Quiet where she talks about introverted children on the playground (Chapter 11). These kids desire friendship and even socialization, but they are often intimidated and put off by larger, noisy groups.

In these types of situations, introverts revert, you guessed it, inward. Staying quiet, finding a corner to oneself, using our smartphones as an escape (I’ve totally done that). The voices of introverts tend to get lost in the crowd because, even though we could be happy to speak up in the company of a close friend or two, many of us would never dream of doing so at a networking event.

Have you ever been to an event where the sole purposes is to network and gather contacts? These events can be intimidating from the get-go. As an introvert going in, I already know I have a goal to achieve by the end of the evening – let people (i.e., strangers) know who I am  and walk out the door with a handful of business cards…or perhaps not.

Cain says, according to numerous studies, introverts prefer, and are quite adept at, having meaningful, intimate conversations with one or two people rather than making meaningless small talk with a large crowd.

one new honest-to-goodness relationship is worth ten fistfuls of business cards – Susan Cain

I couldn’t agree more.

If you are still intimidated by the very idea of networking, I recommend bringing a buddy. Even if this person is an introvert like you, you may find more courage to approach people as a team and there will be less pressure on you alone to make conversation – Basically the same idea as a wing-man with a different end goal!

Testing the theory of buddy networking…

I’ll be testing this theory tomorrow evening when I’ll be attending a networking event along with a fellow self-described introvert. I’ll put Cain’s advice to the test and try focusing on seeking out people I’m comfortable approaching and having the more meaningful conversations I enjoy with one or two people. Plus I’ll have my networking buddy by my side to boost my courage.

Wish us luck!

Introvert Comic

My friend, Andrew, came across this comic about introversion by Hey Luchie and I had to share it with you. I love the illustrations, and the issues that plague us introverts are addressed head on in an amusing way. I’ll definitely keep reading this one. Enjoy!

“Magic Happens Outside Your Comfort Zone”

I read a BuzzFeed post this morning called “31 Unmistakable Signs That You’re An Introvert”, and it made me feel pretty awesome about my introversion. I actually ‘laughed out loud’ at number 8 and showed it to my boyfriend who also laughed because I regularly do this at parties. I didn’t realize other introverts did this too!

It’s true that we introverts need our quiet time and will sometimes decline invitations or cancel plans if we’ve had a busy week and just need our one-on-one time (with ourselves that is), but I think we are good listeners, since we usually don’t speak without giving it some serious thought.

I also think we have to be careful here though. I have experienced Number 19 on BuzzFeed’s list on many occasions, including in important meetings. How many times have you found yourself sitting around a large boardroom table surrounded by people talking on and on and on, and you’ve been formulating a thought in your mind for awhile now and you’re waiting until just the right moment to say it…and then someone else says it? Sigh.

I have a framed picture in my bedroom that says “Magic Happens Outside Your Comfort Zone”. I think I bought this as a reminder to myself that thoughtfulness and patience, though important, must be tempered with risk and bravery if we want great things to happen.