Introverts Can Network Too, Just Differently

There is a section in Susan Cain’s Quiet where she talks about introverted children on the playground (Chapter 11). These kids desire friendship and even socialization, but they are often intimidated and put off by larger, noisy groups.

In these types of situations, introverts revert, you guessed it, inward. Staying quiet, finding a corner to oneself, using our smartphones as an escape (I’ve totally done that). The voices of introverts tend to get lost in the crowd because, even though we could be happy to speak up in the company of a close friend or two, many of us would never dream of doing so at a networking event.

Have you ever been to an event where the sole purposes is to network and gather contacts? These events can be intimidating from the get-go. As an introvert going in, I already know I have a goal to achieve by the end of the evening – let people (i.e., strangers) know who I am  and walk out the door with a handful of business cards…or perhaps not.

Cain says, according to numerous studies, introverts prefer, and are quite adept at, having meaningful, intimate conversations with one or two people rather than making meaningless small talk with a large crowd.

one new honest-to-goodness relationship is worth ten fistfuls of business cards – Susan Cain

I couldn’t agree more.

If you are still intimidated by the very idea of networking, I recommend bringing a buddy. Even if this person is an introvert like you, you may find more courage to approach people as a team and there will be less pressure on you alone to make conversation – Basically the same idea as a wing-man with a different end goal!

Testing the theory of buddy networking…

I’ll be testing this theory tomorrow evening when I’ll be attending a networking event along with a fellow self-described introvert. I’ll put Cain’s advice to the test and try focusing on seeking out people I’m comfortable approaching and having the more meaningful conversations I enjoy with one or two people. Plus I’ll have my networking buddy by my side to boost my courage.

Wish us luck!

This Week in Food

Remember a few posts ago when I referenced our introverted friend, Viet Pham? A skilled chef, charismatic in person, but hopelessly camera-shy? Well, this week he was officially voted off of The Next Food Network Star due to his lack of star power.

Sticking with this week’s theme of introverts and food, it got me to thinking.

Vote in the poll below, and tell me if you think natural introverts can make great chefs.

Keep in mind, I’m not asking if an introvert could make a remarkable saucier, I’m asking if they could rise to the top of a kitchen and make a star chef.

I can’t wait to read your thoughts!

4 Reasons This Introvert Loves to Cook

Remember a few posts ago when I mentioned something about introverts being drawn to food? Well I’ve given it some thought, so here you go. As an introvert, one of my most beloved hobbies is food. I love learning about it, cooking it and eating it.

For me, cooking is part necessity, part great love. But, if we’re talking about cooking as a hobby and not just a necessity, I highly recommend it for other introverts.

Reason 1) Quiet, methodic activity:
I realize this pegs me as a major food nerd, but I can’t imagine an activity more soothing or calming than chopping veggies. It’s just me, my onion goggles and my chef’s knife, and I can zone in on the task at hand for hours on end.

Reason 2) Individual activity: Though my boyfriend and I have gotten a lot better at sharing a kitchen, I find this only works if we divide the tasks. That way each of us can focus in on one particular task at a time and not get in each other’s way or feel frazzled. When you’re cooking in a condo galley kitchen, this is extremely important!
I also like that cooking can be a solitary activity where I can quietly immerse myself in the details of chopping and dicing – with a glass of wine in hand 😉

Reason 3) Getting organized
Since introverts don’t tend to be impulsive, we often follow instructions well. As long as our environment is free of distraction, we’re basically hard-wired to follow the steps of a recipe with careful attention to detail.

TIP: I like to go through the list of ingredients first and read through the recipe, so I’ll know when I need each of them. Then I pull out all my equipment and prep all ingredients, so that as I go through the recipe I simply have to throw things in.

Reason 4) Sense of accomplishment: Since introverts typically think things through a lot, and take our time to work through challenges, cooking is a task that you can see through end to end, entirely on your own, within a matter of hours, and enjoy a satisfying result (provided all goes according to plan.)

These are the reasons cooking is my favourite hobby. To all of you home cooks out there, what are your reasons?

Some Satisfying Results

Introvert Comic

My friend, Andrew, came across this comic about introversion by Hey Luchie and I had to share it with you. I love the illustrations, and the issues that plague us introverts are addressed head on in an amusing way. I’ll definitely keep reading this one. Enjoy!

When you just need a quiet night at home, what’s your go-to excuse?

Heart Racing, Knees Shaking: Introverts & Public Speaking

“99% of the population is afraid of public speaking, and of the remaining 1%, 99% of them have nothing original and interesting to say.” – Jarod Kintz

As I type this, I’m watching Season 9 of the Next Food Network Star and I’m experiencing something introverts often feel: Empathy. Finalist, Viet Pham seems shy and uncomfortable in front of others, and particularly on camera.

Tonight he is being critiqued, yet again, for not evolving in his ability to speak on camera. He seems surprised by this criticism, as he explains to the judges that he is more comfortable in front of others than he has ever been in his life.

As an introvert, what Pham is going through is completely relatable. We often feel that we’re yelling, when others only hear a steady tone of voice. Or that we’re speaking normally, when others only hear a whisper.

When we stretch ourselves outside of our comfort zones, particularly if it involves raising our voices or behaving in an outgoing manner, it raises our adrenaline (and a flight response) and can be quite uncomfortable.

I sometimes still feel this way when public speaking. The anticipation of waiting until it is time for me to speak, rehearsing what I’m going to say in my mind and then standing in front of a room full of people waiting for me to talk.

But, I have found that it gets easier over time. The more I practice, the more comfortable and confidant I’ve become in my speaking abilities. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t times when the idea of speaking up makes my heart race and my knees shake, but at least now I can remind myself that I’ve done this before, and I’ve survived.

Here are some tips that have helped me immensely in overcoming a fear of public speaking:

1. Don’t drink coffee before speaking – If you’re anything like me, caffeine will increase the adrenaline already making your heart race and limit your ability to focus and remain calm.
2. Imagine you’re rehearsing the speech to an empty room, or one comfortable familiar face – since picturing the audience in their underwear or imagining a room full of friends, is likely to create more anxiety for an introvert, I find imagining I’m on my own to be much more helpful.
3. Find passion – If you’re not passionate, or at least mildly interested, in what you’re talking about, your confidence will be shaken and no one will buy what you’re saying. Even if you have no choice but to speak about a lightbulbs or pocket protectors, find something interesting in the subject and try highlighting that.
4. Smile – It sounds simple, but it works. Smiling seems to fool my brain into thinking I’m calm and collected even if I don’t start out feeling that way. Don’t get creepy with it, try to keep it genuine.

If you’re looking for some more help, I also came across this Globeandmail.com article, 11 tips for introverts who want to embrace public speaking.

Thinking back to Viet Pham, I wonder if many introverts are drawn to the food industry or to an interest in food in general? More thoughts on this later…

Are You Enjoying Yourself Right Now?

I went out for drinks with some other classmates of mine last week following a PR event and we got to talking about my introversion. When I described my blog and proclaimed myself to be an introvert, they were surprised.

Trying to understand how someone could still socialize seemingly comfortably and describe themselves as an introvert, one of my classmates even asked “Are you enjoying yourself right now?”

This was hilarious to me, but it also triggered me to look further into the social behaviors of introverts and extroverts, particularly as adults.

What I learned from my continuing read of Susan Cain’s Quiet, is that several studies have determined that once introverts are confident in our social skills in certain situations the conversation can flow smoothly. However, if we are in an unfamiliar situation, faced with new people – Boom! Our introverted genes kick in and our minds snap like an elastic right back to the nervousness we naturally experienced as children.

Maybe introverts need to understand ourselves better before we can expect extroverts to understand us? I came across this Globeandmail.com article that explains a little about what introverts need to function successfully in the workplace.

It also includes a few important vows introverts can make to ourselves to own who we are (with pride!) and to work well alongside extroverts.

I like the idea of making a personal vow or goal to stick to, and so, as a start: I vow to be braver when pushing the “post” button on my blog going forward!

Why Working from Home is Good for Introverts, and our Employers

“You once said that you would like to sit beside me while I write. Listen, in that case I could not write at all” Kafka

The great big telework debate has been ongoing in recent years, but I didn’t feel the desire to throw my hat in the ring until Yahoo CEO, Marissa Mayer put a stop to teleworking and hauled her employees back into the office. I felt so compelled in fact, that I wrote a guest blog post for Hey Receiver about my perspective.

I’m of two minds on this subject. I agree that from personal experience there’s nothing that can quite compare to sitting down with someone face to face to meet and work through a project. I enjoy seeing my colleagues, having some laughs and I do feel isolated and miss the social aspect of the office when working from home.

HOWEVER, as an introvert, I know that I cannot function successfully working 100% of the time in an open-concept office, surrounded by colleagues when trying to concentrate.

If my ability to work successfully were a stew, the two key ingredients would certainly be quiet and privacy, and a chatty, cube free workspace, does not allow for either.

In her book, Quiet, Susan Cain references several studies that prove the theory that working alone is better for creativity among introverts and she names some famous ones, including, Dr. Seuss, Kafka, Bill Gates and Steve Wozniak, to name a few.

For me, I need a balance of working from home on those days when I need to really dive deep into writing and plan out my projects. Technology is key though. It could be tricky to work from home comfortably if you don’t have the same access you would in the office.

I also enjoy breaking out of the house, getting some fresh air and putting in some face time with my colleagues. It is really all about a balance between the two. If your employees are anything like me, you will have a healthier, happier, more creative and productive workforce if you allow us some “me” time.

Not sure you can make teleworking work for you? I came across a helpful GlobeandMail.com article that outlines the Ten Ways to Boost Productivity While Working From Home, and I think it’s spot on.

Does working from home appeal to all introverts? Does it appeal to extroverts too? I’d like to know what you think, even if you disagree with me 😉

A Video About One Particular Introvert

Susan Cain’s Ted Talk on The Power of Introverts